Recently I’ve been coaching a soccer team. My kids and I have suffered a series of depressing results. Each one is like a hammer beating down on us. A 0-0 draw slipped into a 4-0 loss, which led to a 4-1 defeat, which tumbled into a 6-1 loss. The penultimate game of the season was the worst hammering of all. A 11-0 loss at the hands of a local rival.
There’s nothing more demoralising than losing over and over and over again. It’s taken the wind out of our sails. It’s even worse if I think about these kids going back home to their parents to tell them the results that we’re achieving. But the results are part of the problem. Like a duck, furiously kicking its feet beneath the surface of a placid-looking lake, we forget the process and the factors involved in achieving results.
We can only learn from our history when we know what result we’re after. But we don’t fix it by analysing the results. We fix it by taking a look at the behaviours, actions and attitudes that led up to the results.
If we can change these, we’re already on our way to adjusting the results. We’re heading to a new trajectory. We’re already heading in a new direction.
Most results may not look pretty right away. But that’s because most changes that we make to our attitudes and behaviours take time. Time makes all things possible, but we history is only changed by the patient and the perseverant. So, if you’re in the process of changing your history, take heart. Results follow changes, over time.
In one of our matches, we had a golden opportunity in front of goals. It was a clear opportunity. The ball landed at one of our player’s feet and we held our breath for the bulge of the back of the net. It didn’t come. In fact, he didn’t kick the ball.
When he finally took the shot, the defender was in position and took the ball away from him.
At half-time when I spoke to the boy about this, he said something profound: “I was scared. I didn’t want to mess it up.”
How many times have you been too scared to mess something up? How many times have you been so afraid of making a mistake that you ended up recycling history.
Making smstakes are the only way to learn.
Experimenting with mistakes are the only way to play with the results we’re achieving.
But we can only play with mistakes when we relook at the bigger results we’re after.
In Part 2 we’ll bring this discussion to a conclusion.
© The Brilliance Quotient 2018